Activity 3: Getting it wrong (English)
|
In the Moneystuff video, Nik had trouble keeping the car that he bought because he didn't check with REVS (NSW) or the Vehicle Securities Register (VIC). You can find out more about these checks under 'Car' in Just the facts or from the REVS website in NSW( www.revs.nsw.gov.au ) or the VicRoads website in Victoria (www.vicroads.vic.gov.au ).
Sophie had talked to Nik about his car buying problems. She tried to get all the information she could before buying a car. She checked out the Money Stuff website to read the car buying tips, she talked to friends and she shopped around. |
 |
1. This letter was sent to the Consumer Affairs Victoria. The details have been changed to protect privacy. READ it, DISCUSS it, and ANSWER the questions which follow.
|
Glen Rigby
3 Burrawong St
Aldonga 3356
4X54 XXXX
Consumer Affairs Victoria
A few weeks ago I saw the ad and decided to buy my car from Jake's Autos.
I received pre-approval over the phone and then went to the car yard. The telephonist definitely said it was up to me which deal I wanted. My finance was approved and I made the arrangements to inspect and pick-up a 1998 Jackaroo which was the type of car I had been looking at for three weeks before this.
I was told to bring in my old Sigma, which is a bit beaten up I admit. Anyway, to do the deal I got $4000 trade-in, even though they said my old car wasn't worth it.
Later, when I asked about the free petrol they said I wasn't eligible.
I was told they would not make enough money on the deal.
I think that I should get the petrol anyway.
I humbly beg your urgent attention.
Signed. |
2. Working in pairs, LIST at least three ways in which this letter is not very effective.
3. One problem with this letter is that it does not give the reader enough information. Many of the sentences below were written in a way that doesn't tell us who is responsible for the action.
My finance was approved.
I was told to bring in my old Sigma.
They said my old car wasn't worth it.
I was told that I was not eligible
4. ANSWER these questions:
a. Who approved the finance?
b. Who told Glenn to bring in his old Sigma?
c. Who told Glen his old car wasn't worth it?
d. Who told Glenn that he was not eligible?
The language feature the writer has chosen is not suitable for a letter of complaint, where we need to know exactly who said and did each of the actions described in the letter. The writer may have been trying to make the letter sound more objective, but this choice would be more appropriate in a report than in a letter of complaint, where the purpose is to explain one side of the story, not to appear objective.
5. REWRITE each of these sentences to make it clear who performed the action:
a. My finance was approved.
b. I was told they would not make enough money on the deal.
c. He hadn't been able to fix my machine yet.
d. She would have to talk to the owner about it.
This activity can be found in the NSW Money Stuff Teacher resource book– English page 23 .
Explore additional learning activities (which include extension and revision tasks) in the print resources section under Print resources - Victoria.
Linked Learning Outcomes - NSW
Stage 6 English Preliminary (Standard)
Syllabus Outcomes
1. A student develops language relevant to the study of English.
2. A student identifies and describes language forms and features and structures of particular texts that shape meaning and influence responses.
Stage 6 English Preliminary (Fundamentals of English)
1. A student recognises some of the relationships between context and meaning.
2. A student recognises the ways in which changes in context require changes in form.
3. A student understands how the responder interacts with text and context to shape meaning.
4. A student develops language relevant to the field of English.
5. A student responds to and composes texts for a range of purposes and audiences, in various forms, modes and media.
Stage 6 English Preliminary (English as a Second Language)
1. A student develops language relevant to the study of English.
2. A student demonstrates understanding of how audience and purpose affect the language and structure of texts.
Learning Outcomes – Victoria
Victorian Essential Learning Standards (VELS) - Discipline-based Learning
Domain: English
Dimensions: Reading, Writing, Speaking and Listening
Level 5
Students critically evaluate the spoken language of others and select, prepare and present spoken texts for specific audiences and purposes
Students read and view imaginative, informative and persuasive texts that explore ideas and information related to challenging topics, themes and issues.
Level 6
Students compare and contrast the typical features of particular texts and synthesise information from different texts to draw conclusions.
Students draw on a range of strategies to listen to and present spoken texts, including note-taking, combining spoken and visual texts, and presenting complex issues or information imaginatively to interest an audience.
Learning Outcomes - Western Australia
(English)
R 5.3 Draws on knowledge of language features and conventions of text structure to explain how texts are constructed.
W 5.3 Controls the language structures and features necessary to communicate ideas and information clearly in written text.